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Highlights of Miami Heat’s “Battioke” event. Chris Bosh is the best.

Jan 28, 2014, 5:09 PM EDT

That is Chris Bosh singing Tom Jones’ “It’s not unusual” while breaking out the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Carlton Dance. That is why Chris Bosh is awesome (that and he’s a better basketball player than most of you seem to give him credit for, but that’s another post for another day).

It’s may favorite thing from “Battioke” — Shane Battier‘s annual charity fundraiser where the Miami Heat get up and sing. And they all sing — LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, Greg Oden… just everyone.

Here are a few other highlights, such as Bosh doing “The Humpty Dance” (by Digital Underground, in case you forgot).

Greg Oden, Shane Battier and Ken Jeong performing the Backstreet Boys’ “I Want It That Way.”

LeBron breaks out the falsetto on “Blurred Lines” with Wade and Udonis Haslem (I’m still partial to the video with virtually naked supermodels, for some reason).

Pat Riley got Jimmy Buffett on stage to do Marvin Gaye’s “Heard it through the Grapevine.”

D-Wade’s wife Gabrielle Union went country with Garth Brooks’ “Friends in Low Places.”

The event closed with ‘Lil Jon’s “Get Low.”

  1. calkinsrob - Jan 28, 2014 at 5:14 PM

    Aside from the flopping habit that he seemed to pick up once joining the heat, I like chris bosh a lot. hes a stand up guy. And its pretty ridiculous that many people consider him as a role player. He was one of my favorite players while on toronto. I wish he still had the dreads haha!

    • adamsjohn714 - Jan 29, 2014 at 1:23 AM

      He seems like a great guy and is genuinely funny without being afraid to laugh at himself. However, he’s just not as good at basketball as most people, and his contract, would indicate.

      • jaerba - Jan 29, 2014 at 2:30 AM

        This is a very simplistic view of basketball. I would argue that not only is Bosh incredibly versatile and efficient on offense (the spacing options, regardless of what they choose to run, he gives to the Heat are huge), but he has become an elite defender.

        Yep, I mean ‘big E’ Elite. His main weakness is stronger PFs like West and Boozer, but it’s a speed dominant league right now, and I don’t think there’s a single big man as good at defending PnR’s as Bosh. They can pretty effectively switch with him, which other teams really can’t do. Maybe you take Anthony Davis on PnR’s above him (and certainly on rim protection) but I can’t think of anyone else. He’s improved tremendously on D, since signing that contract.

        Lebron is obviously the more outstanding defender, but I think it’s easier to replace an elite wing defender than an elite/fast interior defender.

      • fseque83 - Jan 29, 2014 at 9:55 AM

        Sometimes is better to stay quite than sound like a fool. Chris Bosh can put up huge numbers any given night, he is just not a selfish player and knows the role Miami needs him to play. Chris Bosh has better moves than 99% of big men in the league. Chris Bosh is the reason Miami can space the floor like they do. Dude, you don’t know s**t about basketball.

      • adamsjohn714 - Jan 29, 2014 at 10:14 AM

        Sometimes it is better to proofread before you attempt to insult someone.

        I’m quiet sure that Bosh’s production can easily be replaced. His pick and roll defense is pretty good, but eventually the offense gets around to shooting the ball, and then Bosh is a bit of a liability when it comes to actually grabbing the misses. He’s a decent 3 point shooter, but if Allen, James, and Chalmers (who all shoot better from deep) take one more attempt a game, then that production is replaced, all while keeping the mythical “floor spacing” intact. Bosh is simply a decent shooter and defender who isn’t deserving of his contract. In fact, the league values him much higher than his actual worth, so the Heat should look to trade him and get much more in return. I bet they could get Faried for him, plus a pick, and instantly be a better team with fewer flaws. I’m not saying Bosh is bad. In fact, he’s pretty good at what he does. I’m just saying that what he does isn’t all that important for the Heat to win basketball games.

      • kobeisabitchyoutube - Jan 29, 2014 at 11:40 AM

        adamsjohn. maybe you should proofread your own comments before you attempt to insult someone. “i’m quiet sure”?

      • adamsjohn714 - Jan 29, 2014 at 1:48 PM

        Oh dear. Whoops. How ironic that I made a mistake in my post that was criticizing another’s earlier mistake. It’s even more ironic that I used the very word that would rectify their mistake, while they used the word that would rectify mine. It’s almost as if it was intentional. No, that couldn’t be. That’s way too tricky for an idiot like me.

        That whooshing sound you hear is the joke going over your head.

      • bougin89 - Jan 29, 2014 at 12:08 PM

        You’d have to be able to look past numbers to understand why Bosh is valuable to the Heat. You’re still posting the same type of comments. The ones where you say George Hill is a really good PG, Hansbrough is better than Scola offensively, Westbrook isn’t a good player, Iverson wasn’t a good player, etc.

        Floor spacing is mythical? That is laughable.

      • adamsjohn714 - Jan 29, 2014 at 12:28 PM

        Prove that the concept of “floor spacing” is real and that having a center in the middle of the lane is bad for business. Virtually every team that has ever won a ring has a center that has clogged the paint.

        If you’re saying you can look past numbers to spot his value, then explain it to me. Is it his post game video bombs? Is it his boost to chemistry (another mythical concept)? I cannot see what makes him so darn special to everybody. All I see is a sweet shooting big man who doesn’t rebound, and on a team with other guys who also can shoot, rebounding seems to be a void that needs to be filled.

      • bougin89 - Jan 29, 2014 at 1:15 PM

        I didn’t say having a center in the middle of the lane is bad for business. I’d actually typically argue that teams need good bigs to win. When you have two of the best slashing perimeter players in the game, then you don’t need/(and I’m arguing in this case) want a big man clogging the paint.

        “Virtually every team that has ever won a ring has a center that has clogged the paint.”

        Except for the team that has won the last two rings.

        Except for the Bulls second 3 peat in the 90’s.

        Notice the perimeter players on each team.

        “If you’re saying you can look past numbers to spot his value, then explain it to me.”

        Should I explain defensive 3 seconds and how it relates to “mythical floor spacing”? How pulling the other teams center out of the lane for even 1 additional second is of much greater value to a team that has Lebron James and Dwyane Wade compared to other teams? Is that what you’re asking?

        “Is it his boost to chemistry (another mythical concept)? ”

        LOL. You’ve clearly never played or coached basketball at even a reasonably competitive level. Bosh adds a ton of chemistry because he understands his role. He takes smart shots and makes them. Chemistry/cohesiveness on teams is very real.

      • adamsjohn714 - Jan 29, 2014 at 1:23 PM

        Winning is paramount. Chemistry is secondary. You don’t put together a team to try to create chemistry, you try to put together a winner. Those Bulls teams hated eachother. Pippen and Jordan dislike eachother to this day.

        The 2 teams that won without a dominant big man had a guy play that role anyways (rodman and Lebron).

        I’m not saying that Bosh isn’t good at what he does. What he does is simply not as important as everyone thinks it is. The Heat would be substantially better off with a Jordan Hill or Kenneth Faried at PF and watch them gobble up rebounds. That is more valuable. Also, I’m factoring in Bosh’s enormously exorbitant contract.

      • bougin89 - Jan 29, 2014 at 2:23 PM

        “You don’t put together a team to try to create chemistry, you try to put together a winner.”


        C’mon, you’re smarter than this. Good GM’s put together players that compliment each other so chemistry on the court can be built.

        “The 2 teams that won without a dominant big man had a guy play that role anyways (rodman and Lebron). ”

        Rodman was not a guy anchored on the low block, at all.

        Lebron does not get anchored on the block either. He does post up much more this year but he posts up based on matchups. He posts up small forwards or smaller perimeter players that guard him. He doesn’t post up true big men. That’s why he’s a matchup nightmare. Battier is more of a true PF on that team when healthy.

        I will agree that Bosh could(should) be a better rebounder. He plays center on this team but really should be a PF. He’d be better individually in a system that had a true center, he doesn’t. Hill and Faried are good players but neither would draw a center out of the lane like Bosh would on the offensive end. If Jordan Hill or Kenneth Faried come and set a pick on James guy their defenders would sink to the middle on Lebron. When Lebron kicks it to them, can they hit that shot? Certainly not like Bosh would.

  2. belleby123 - Jan 28, 2014 at 5:36 PM

    I’ll give the Heat credit for finding more than one way to flop.

    • miamatt - Jan 28, 2014 at 7:21 PM

      C’mon Heat fans, this is actually funny.

      The Heat do flop (so does every other team, but that’s another discussion…)

      I’m just sayin’ we ought to be able to take a joke, especially a good one.

      • nitroglyphics - Jan 29, 2014 at 1:06 AM

        The Bulls don’t flop

      • belleby123 - Jan 30, 2014 at 7:02 AM

        I thought what I said was funny. To each their own.

  3. symeos - Jan 28, 2014 at 5:55 PM

    Kurt, I was a long time reader of you at FB&G, but you suck here. I actually rediscovered my long lost wordpress password so that I could log in and write it to you.

    You suck as a writer: why do you think it’s a valid and/or interesting way to ALWAYS structure your posts by addressing directly your audience and assume they are always wrong? I know Bosh is a good player, I don’t want you be an arrogant smuck about it and assume that most readers need your enlightening views.

    And it would also help a bit more if you could spell: ” It’s may favorite thing from ”Battioke” .” “May”? “MAY”???. Damn it, you are getting paid for this.

  4. antistratfordian - Jan 28, 2014 at 8:55 PM

    Well, hello Ms. Gabby.

  5. onlyavoice - Jan 28, 2014 at 9:33 PM

    It’s great to see these guys having fun. They really are tight.
    I can not see Lebron going back to Cleveland, not even the thought jokingly.
    Oden picked the right team & he’s having fun, anyone else would have crippled him by now.
    Great to be a Heat fan.

  6. nokoolaidcowboy - Jan 28, 2014 at 10:01 PM


  7. brotherlove2012 - Jan 29, 2014 at 7:30 AM

    Bosh is the perfect complement on a championship team, he has no ego so it’s not a problem for him to play second and even third fiddle. With that being said, I still think he would be unable to lead a team to a championship as the #1 guy.

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