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The Extra Pass: The best possible nickname jerseys; plus Tuesday’s recaps

Jan 15, 2014, 8:00 AM EDT

Miami Heat v Brooklyn Nets Getty Images


If you missed it last week, the Miami Heat and Brooklyn Nets played with nicknames on the back of their jerseys instead of their last names. Once I was able to shush the crotchety old man that sometimes takes over my brain, I really enjoyed it. Ray Allen‘s “J. Shuttlesworth” jersey, a nod to his role in He Got Game, was fantastic. Joe Johnson being “JJ” was very Joe Johnson and made me laugh.

Not everyone could come up with a great nickname, naturally, because some guys just don’t have nicknames. Or if they do, we don’t know about them.

But as per usual, comes to the rescue.

The following 25 nicknames are taken directly from the player pages on that site. They are not made up, as I am not nearly creative enough to do such a thing.

I’ve made a quiz that matches the nicknames to their players. It is impossible. If you like knowing the answers to quizzes you take, do not take this quiz.

Hopefully that scared you off, and now you can enjoy 25 of the best nicknames listed on the player pages at I’ll post the names of the players in the comments section a little later today. Enjoy!

25 Nicknames

Death & Taxes

Big Classic

Armadillo Cowboy

Big Penguin

The Pterodactyl


The Hobbit

Chief Lightning First Step

The Natural


Swamp Thang

The Hitman

The Drunken Dribbler

Grocery List

Dolla Billz

Bean Burrito


Buffet of Goodness

The Dread Pirate

The Definition


Meal Ticket

Two Time

La Tanquera

And last but not least…


More nickname jerseys, please!

– D.J. Foster


Best line of the day, from Barack Obama during the Heat’s trip to the White House.


Bobcats 108, Knicks 98: The big story out of this will be J.R. Smith getting benched again — is his time with the Knicks over? He is eligible to be traded Wednesday but who wants him? — and the odd timing of that because Knicks, unable to find enough offensive spark with out him, saw their five-game win streak come to an end. Al Jefferson was a beast for Charlotte, with 35 points on 14-of-20 shooting, making Tyson Chandler look slow and getting other Knicks to bite on pump fakes like they’d never seen them before. The Knicks defense was terrible. Charlotte got Michael Kidd-Gilchrist back and he played good defense on Carmelo Anthony, who struggled when MKG was in (‘Melo had 20 points on 22 shots).

Pacers 116, Kings 92: Indiana took control of this game with a 23-5 run in the second quarter and the game never really felt in doubt after that. For a change the Pacers won this one with offense, scoring a season-high 116 points on 54.9 percent shooting. Paul George was a beast, attacking when he got the ball and scoring 24 of his 31 points in the second half. DeMarcus Cousins did his part to push back — 31 points on 12-of-21 shooting plus 13 rebounds — but he didn’t get much help.

Grizzlies 90, Thunder 87: Marc Gasol looked pretty good — 12 points, including a huge late three, plus he pulled down 7 rebounds. You might look at the 87 points and the fact the Thunder shot 40.7 percent and think that Memphis played amazing defense… not exactly. They played good defense but the Thunder just missed shots, which includes Serge Ibaka having a wide-open three o tie the game and missing. Kevin Durant had 37 points on 28 shots, remove him from the equation and the rest of the Thunder shot 32 percent. Courtney Lee had 24 points and Zach Randolph had 23.

Cavaliers 120, Lakers 118: Defense? We don’t need no stinkin’ defense. Nobody played much in this contest, but that made for fun offense. Luol Deng adds another dimension to the Cavaliers offense and he had his best game since the trade against the Lakers “defense” scoring 27 points and going 5-of-5 from three. Three point shooting was a theme for the Cavs all night as they hit 13-of-17 from deep. On the other side Kendall Marshall exposed the Lakers slow rotations all night on his way to 16 assists. This was a game of big runs but the key one was a 12-0 Cavaliers run in the fourth quarter, sparked by Dion Waiters 13 in that quarter. The Lakers answered with an 11-3 run of their own in the closing minutes, but they couldn’t make the shots they needed at the end. The Lakers have lost five in a row, 11-of-12, and now they head out for 12 days and 7 games on the road. So, no, this may well not be rock bottom.

  1. sdelmonte - Jan 15, 2014 at 9:12 AM

    The nickname jerseys defeat the purpose of a name on a jersey. It’s another silly ploy to separate fans from their money, that’s all.

    • 1heatedtoombrayduh - Jan 15, 2014 at 11:51 AM

      you know..the thing about this country is…you dont HAVE to buy the jersey lol

  2. phinagain - Jan 15, 2014 at 10:08 AM

    The nicknames were a fun and quirky twist that made the broadcast and the mood of the game light and easy. It also made some fans feel a little more connected to their team, like they are part of an inside group. It’s clearly not something that should become commonplace, but once during the regular season is fine. It’s not like I’m running off to buy a Super Mario jersey; it’s just fun to hear the announcers call out the names.

  3. asimonetti88 - Jan 15, 2014 at 10:57 AM

    Lakers’ play in the second half was horrendous.

  4. MLBlogsbig3bosox - Jan 15, 2014 at 2:09 PM

    Gimme the names DJ! That quiz was enough suffering for a day.

  5. D.J. Foster - Jan 15, 2014 at 3:16 PM

    Okay, here are the names matched up to the nicknames:

    Death & Taxes — Tim Duncan

    Big Classic — Al Jefferson

    Armadillo Cowboy — Joe Johnson

    Big Penguin — Andre Drummond

    The Pterodactyl — Brandon Jennings

    Frodo — Luke Ridnour

    The Hobbit — Eric Gordon

    Chief Lightning First Step — Rodney Stuckey

    The Natural — Mike Dunleavy

    Beans — Andris Biedrins

    Swamp Thang — Kendrick Perkins

    The Hitman — Mo Williams

    The Drunken Dribbler — Corey Brewer

    Grocery List — O.J. Mayo

    Dolla Billz — Andre Iguodala

    Bean Burrito — Nick Young

    Switchblade — Trevor Ariza

    Buffet of Goodness — Channing Frye

    The Dread Pirate — Chris Douglas Roberts

    The Definition — Martell Webster

    Yaowa — Joel Anthony

    Meal Ticket — Pau Gasol

    Two Time — Steve Nash

    La Tanquera — Marc Gasol

    Carl. — Chris Singleton

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