Sep 22, 2013, 12:30 PM EDT
Shaquille O’Neal is not overly fond of the Pelicans nickname. This is not an uncommon opinion. Shaq’s reasoning for not liking the new name, though? Pretty spectacular.
“It’s a terrible name. I told Charles on TNT, I don’t think I’ve seen a Pelican before. Pelicans, are they that big white bird? I would had named them Tigers, Crawfish or something. Pelicans — no. But I wish them well.”
So many questions for you, Shaq. You really haven’t seen a Pelican before? It’s Louisiana’s state bird. You went to LSU. They were in Finding Nemo. You have children. Come on, Shaq. You yelled about Birdman for the entire postseason and now you know nothing about birds? Nice try. Are you undercover again?
Seriously, though, man. Crawfish? That’s your suggestion? Something cool like Tigers, or maybe crawfish? Pelicans could probably eat crawfish, bro. I don’t know if that’s true or not because I haven’t watched the Discovery channel in a really long time, but you don’t go down the food chain in search of a better nickname. You just don’t.
That’s alright, though. Nicknames are hard, you’ve wasted your ammo on yourself over the years, and now you’re spent. All good. New Orleans fans have plenty of reasons to be happy though, right? Bright future, yes?
I’ll be anxious to see how many jerseys they sell. Hopefully one day they’ll get some marquee players and fill the arena up because it’s a town that wants to support something good. Louisiana, in general, if you give them a good product, they’ll get in their RVs and drive and they will support you. Hopefully, one day we’ll get two or three good players that people would want to spend their money on.
I suppose the thought of hearing, “Nice Pelicans jersey!” could push someone with Ornithophobia away from a purchase, even if the name on the front says New Orleans. As for the names on the back? Anthony Davis, Jrue Holiday, Eric Gordon, Ryan Anderson and Tyreke Evans are pretty good players, but are they “fire up the RV” good?
But again, we need to two or three marquee players. I mean you can’t charge the prices that we charge and not give them a good product. So hopefully the first pick, Anthony Davis, and Doc Rivers’ son (Austin Rivers) hopefully have the same impact the ‘Splash Brothers’ (Golden State guards Stephen Curry and Klay Thompson) had last season.
So New Orleans fans, it sounds like Shaq thinks your new nickname stinks, you might not sell many jerseys, you don’t have good players that are worth spending money to watch, and your hopes of making a big impact rest partially with Austin Rivers, of all people.
But, you know, other than that? Go big white birds!
Sep 18, 2014, 12:15 AM EDT
No Robert Horry, no Igor Kokoskov
Sep 17, 2014, 11:15 PM EDT
Milwaukee will likely waive former Temple center before season
Sep 17, 2014, 10:15 PM EDT
Clippers rushed to upgrade from Hollins as backup center, the role Hollins will likely hold in Sacramento
Sep 17, 2014, 9:25 PM EDT
Sanchez played for St. John’s, Dominican Republic national team
Sep 17, 2014, 8:30 PM EDT
Miami also hires Chris Quinn promotes David Fizdale
Sep 17, 2014, 7:35 PM EDT
Asik and Davis could be one of the NBA’s best defensive front lines.
Sep 17, 2014, 6:48 PM EDT
Brooklyn needs someone behind Brook Lopez and Mason Plumlee
Sep 17, 2014, 5:55 PM EDT
This is a killer addition.
Sep 17, 2014, 4:59 PM EDT
Sep 17, 2014, 4:12 PM EDT
Five games is the standard marijuana suspension, and you have to test positive three separate times to earn it.
Sep 17, 2014, 3:26 PM EDT
Jennings only shot 52 percent around the rim last year, maybe the muscle helps. Maybe.
Sep 17, 2014, 2:55 PM EDT
Chris Bosh is taller than Ellen DeGeneres, which leads to much humor. I guess.
Sep 17, 2014, 1:59 PM EDT
His veteran, playoff-tested presence will be big on this team.
Sep 17, 2014, 1:19 PM EDT
This is all we want to see out of the Timberwolves anyway.
Sep 17, 2014, 1:00 PM EDT
No. Just… no.
Sep 17, 2014, 12:25 PM EDT
Cousins has won over Team USA’s brain trust.
Sep 17, 2014, 11:44 AM EDT
There’s a lot of room for improvement, let’s just say.
Sep 17, 2014, 11:05 AM EDT
Kyrie is going to have to adjust to a different role on the Cavs, but if he does watch out.
Sep 17, 2014, 10:00 AM EDT
Rajon Rondo looms over everything – on and off the court
Sep 17, 2014, 9:31 AM EDT
This is long overdue.
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