Sep 22, 2013, 12:30 PM EDT
Shaquille O’Neal is not overly fond of the Pelicans nickname. This is not an uncommon opinion. Shaq’s reasoning for not liking the new name, though? Pretty spectacular.
“It’s a terrible name. I told Charles on TNT, I don’t think I’ve seen a Pelican before. Pelicans, are they that big white bird? I would had named them Tigers, Crawfish or something. Pelicans — no. But I wish them well.”
So many questions for you, Shaq. You really haven’t seen a Pelican before? It’s Louisiana’s state bird. You went to LSU. They were in Finding Nemo. You have children. Come on, Shaq. You yelled about Birdman for the entire postseason and now you know nothing about birds? Nice try. Are you undercover again?
Seriously, though, man. Crawfish? That’s your suggestion? Something cool like Tigers, or maybe crawfish? Pelicans could probably eat crawfish, bro. I don’t know if that’s true or not because I haven’t watched the Discovery channel in a really long time, but you don’t go down the food chain in search of a better nickname. You just don’t.
That’s alright, though. Nicknames are hard, you’ve wasted your ammo on yourself over the years, and now you’re spent. All good. New Orleans fans have plenty of reasons to be happy though, right? Bright future, yes?
I’ll be anxious to see how many jerseys they sell. Hopefully one day they’ll get some marquee players and fill the arena up because it’s a town that wants to support something good. Louisiana, in general, if you give them a good product, they’ll get in their RVs and drive and they will support you. Hopefully, one day we’ll get two or three good players that people would want to spend their money on.
I suppose the thought of hearing, “Nice Pelicans jersey!” could push someone with Ornithophobia away from a purchase, even if the name on the front says New Orleans. As for the names on the back? Anthony Davis, Jrue Holiday, Eric Gordon, Ryan Anderson and Tyreke Evans are pretty good players, but are they “fire up the RV” good?
But again, we need to two or three marquee players. I mean you can’t charge the prices that we charge and not give them a good product. So hopefully the first pick, Anthony Davis, and Doc Rivers’ son (Austin Rivers) hopefully have the same impact the ‘Splash Brothers’ (Golden State guards Stephen Curry and Klay Thompson) had last season.
So New Orleans fans, it sounds like Shaq thinks your new nickname stinks, you might not sell many jerseys, you don’t have good players that are worth spending money to watch, and your hopes of making a big impact rest partially with Austin Rivers, of all people.
But, you know, other than that? Go big white birds!
Jul 29, 2014, 9:44 PM EDT
“That 2010 team was one of the best experiences I’ve ever had. I think we have a team that’s even better.” —Kevin Durant
Jul 29, 2014, 8:50 PM EDT
Orlando reportedly plans to send former Pistons point guard to D-League
Kevin Durant knows you’re talking about his free agency but isn’t giving many clues. But he liked what LeBron did.
Jul 29, 2014, 7:51 PM EDT
“I just tell everybody that I’m here in Oklahoma City, I love it here. Who knows what will happen.” —Kevin Durant on his 2016 free agency.
Jul 29, 2014, 7:11 PM EDT
Bledsoe reportedly resents how differently Pistons, Jazz and Rockets treated their restricted free agents
Jul 29, 2014, 6:22 PM EDT
CSKA-Moscow wants to poach Scott from Atlanta Hawks
Jul 29, 2014, 5:37 PM EDT
Johnson gets NBA contract after eventful summer league
Jul 29, 2014, 4:55 PM EDT
I’m not sure Love is taking advice from Minnesota right now
Jul 29, 2014, 4:11 PM EDT
Lakers introduce Scott as new coach in press conference
Jul 29, 2014, 3:24 PM EDT
Rose said he was disappointed but he understands ‘Melo’s decision.
Jul 29, 2014, 2:22 PM EDT
Want to see LeBron strip down to his underwear?
Jul 29, 2014, 1:44 PM EDT
Lakers guard confirms he’s planning on retirement
Jul 29, 2014, 1:11 PM EDT
Donald Sterling isn’t going away, but he’s pretty much done as the Clippers owner now.
Jul 29, 2014, 12:28 PM EDT
Yes, you read that headline correctly
Jul 29, 2014, 12:22 PM EDT
The question with Cousins is never talent, but his maturity seems to be there.
Jul 29, 2014, 11:44 AM EDT
Jason Kidd or Byron Scott could hire former Seattle SuperSonic
Jul 29, 2014, 11:11 AM EDT
Irving wouldn’t get full 30 percent of adjusted salary cap by triggering Derrick Rose rule
Jul 29, 2014, 10:33 AM EDT
Atlanta selected 7-foot-3 center No. 43 in 2014 NBA draft
Jul 29, 2014, 9:55 AM EDT
Previous report said Griffin fractured back during Clippers’ playoff run, which ended before backflip video was posted
Jul 29, 2014, 9:22 AM EDT
Thunder forward says he’s improving, but ‘it’s going to take time’
Jul 29, 2014, 8:45 AM EDT
Former 76ers and Nets general manager now Memphis’ executive vice president of player personnel
- Durant says 2014 USA team better than 2010 version that won gold 0
- Kevin Durant knows you’re talking about his free agency but isn’t giving many clues. But he liked what LeBron did. 11
- Byron Scott makes ridiculous optimism sound reasonable 39
- Derrick Rose told Carmelo Anthony that if he came to Chicago “the game would be easy” 40
- LeBron James strips on stage, throws clothes into crowd (video) 20
- Is DeMarcus Cousins the big man Team USA can lean on? 18
- Lakers make it official — finally — and hire Byron Scott as head coach 13
- Derrick Rose: “I’ve become a smarter player, but I’m mad it took me seven years to learn it.” 29