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Dwyane Wade reaches settlement with ex-wife. Let’s hope this goes away.

Jul 23, 2013, 2:11 PM EDT

Dwyane Wade AP

Dwyane Wade’s ex-wife was on the streets of Chicago making an foolish spectacle of herself last week, the latest in an the ugly divorce between the two — which involved a nasty custody battle that was good for nobody — that has dragged on for six years.

After a judge ruled on Monday, apparently this is done. Let’s hope so, for the sake of the families involved. Plus I don’t want to hear about it anymore.

Wade will pay his ex-wife Siohvaughn Funches-Wade $5 million, she will get one of the couple’s large homes and four cars, according to the Sun-Times. Wade had supported his wife with $25,000 a month payments through the process and even paid for her attorneys.

The two sides also signed a “non-disparage” agreement as part of the settlement. We’ll see how that goes. On Monday Funches-Wade’s lawyer was arguing she had not agreed to all the provisions in the settlement (which had been submitted to the court already) but the judge said she had and made the settlement final. After the hearing she reportedly said that she did not like the decision and that “my voice isn’t for sale.”

Wade won custody of their children back in 2011.

Wade’s attorney released a statement, via the Sun-Sentinel.

“Dwyane Wade and his ex-wife Siohvaughn Funches have reached a financial settlement. The agreement was submitted in court last Tuesday, July 16 prior to Ms. Funches’ recent unfounded and erratic public display outside the courthouse this past Friday. Dwyane Wade has made several requests over the years to settle this matter, despite Ms. Funches having 16 different attorneys and 2 arrests throughout this process. Mr. Wade has provided a very generous settlement to Ms. Funches to continue to live a wonderful lifestyle for the rest of her life.”

This has been about as ugly a divorce as you’re going to see. Let’s hope this ends it and everyone can move on.

  1. elwaysagenius - Jul 23, 2013 at 2:15 PM

    I know nothing about what happened over the last 6 years, but if anything in this article is accurate, she’s lucky to get anything. She seems unstable

    • fanofevilempire - Jul 23, 2013 at 5:49 PM

      Herpes, the gift that keeps on giving…………

  2. goraidersgospurs - Jul 23, 2013 at 2:17 PM

    All she had to do was stay clean untill she won full custody of the kids and could have made off like a bandit, SMH at this woman!!!

  3. timb12 - Jul 23, 2013 at 2:19 PM

    Didn’t D-Wade give her herpes? It’s crazy that she’s turned herself into the villain.

    • christiancameron - Jul 23, 2013 at 3:16 PM

      No he didn’t. She accused him of that, and it was found out later she got STDs from someone she was sleeping around with.

      • cantonbound13 - Jul 23, 2013 at 7:40 PM

        Right… And what about all those Orgies Dwhine Wade would have? He could never get herpes from doing that, right?
        Not only did she accuse him of that but his former business partner did also.

  4. borisalessandri - Jul 23, 2013 at 2:23 PM

    Four cars?? Wow! I would graciously agree to the terms of the divorce, then purposefully have the engines removed from “said” four cars and then have them delivered to her newly acquired residence. I’m sure nowhere in the literature of the divorce does it EXACTLY specify four “fully-operational” cars/vehicles. That is far more rational than my initial idea of cutting all of the brake lines

    • money2long - Jul 23, 2013 at 2:49 PM

      i was wondering if the article meant one of each of those things, like, 1 of the many homes and 1 of the many cars. maybe she did just get 4 cars. i wish it was clearer.

      • loubearkane - Jul 23, 2013 at 4:20 PM

        One large house (furnished) 4 cars ( not talking Ford Escorts) $5,000,000

  5. losanginsight - Jul 23, 2013 at 2:25 PM

    Father of the year!

  6. tannethrill - Jul 23, 2013 at 2:49 PM

    The key to getting your way in a divorce? Pay for your lawyer and thw lawyer your facing lol

  7. ss3walkman - Jul 23, 2013 at 2:57 PM

    Wow.. Paid for his and her attorneys. Now that’s turning the other cheek and being a good sportsman.

    • asimonetti88 - Jul 23, 2013 at 3:47 PM

      It’s smart. It means her lawyers are working for and answering to him.

    • cantonbound13 - Jul 23, 2013 at 3:48 PM

      No, that’s the law. She doesn’t work, was dependent upon him & had kids with him. He is supposed to pay for her attorney. She obviously did not choose a good one.

  8. captainwisdom8888 - Jul 23, 2013 at 2:58 PM

    I know Wade definitely didnt want to give this coo coo bird anything at all, but if $5 million shuts her up for good…it may be worth it for a wealthy guy like him. It’s a shame that their kids have to see their mom acting like a complete fool in public. She seems to be entirely self-indulged in her efforts to smear Dwayne Wade and to get her payday, while paying no mind to acting like a respectable mother and role model for her kids.

  9. sfsugator - Jul 23, 2013 at 3:00 PM

    check flashes exwifey on the street bein a loud betsy.

    • 00maltliquor - Jul 23, 2013 at 11:56 PM

      She is beyond annoying. Waste of life. Please Shiohvaughn, put the Mossberg in your mouth and do the Lord’s work.

      • bloodisred - Jul 24, 2013 at 5:15 AM

        She definitely has “issues” as indicated by the father winning full custody but your comment is over the line.

  10. cantonbound13 - Jul 23, 2013 at 3:15 PM

    Crazy or not, it still is the mother of his kids. Nobody knows how losing custody of her kids effected this woman. If someone took my child away, I’d probably go insane. Diva Wade has to be worth at least $150 million. His baby momma doesn’t work & was supported by this cheater. This only shows to me how classless this punk is in taking custody of the kids & only offering her about 5% of his wealth. The 5 million is just to shut her up because he doesn’t want his phony image tarnished. He’s not only a dirt bag on the court, he is off the court too.

    • 6thsense79 - Jul 23, 2013 at 7:55 PM

      Umm…she was acting this way BEFORE the kids were taken from her. In fact her behavior was part of the reason she lost custody. Think to yourself….in a country that’s normally biased towards the mother in custody cases how unstable of a mother do you have to be to lose custody of your child to an ex that’s on the road as much as an NBA player is? To not even have partial or shared custody?

      • cantonbound13 - Jul 23, 2013 at 8:07 PM

        He had the better attorney, period. He even said he was a bad husband.

    • jimeejohnson - Jul 24, 2013 at 9:33 PM

      Uh, you’re already insane, so if someone took you kids away, it wouldn’t matter one bit.

  11. christiancameron - Jul 23, 2013 at 3:21 PM

    I’m not saying Dwyane was blameless, but he has handled the whole process very well. I have never heard him publicly say anything against Siohvaughn, despite how much Siovaughn tries to trash him to the media. He is clearly thinking about the kids and not wanting to put down their mother, and has always said he hopes to have a civil relationship in the future fr the sake of the kids.

    I don’t want to judge her, divorces can be ugly and make people do crazy things. But how does she think she can put up signs about being homeless and it’s not going to get out that she is getting $25,000 a month?

  12. jditty22 - Jul 23, 2013 at 3:21 PM

    Upsale manison, 4 upscale cars, no job, supporting her family, taxes = broke within 2 years and back on the street begging for more money from Wade.

  13. reesesteel23 - Jul 23, 2013 at 3:30 PM

    Look up the stories….this lady is in……….sane

  14. mrwhiteshadez - Jul 23, 2013 at 3:37 PM

    She a hoe.

  15. stayhigh_247 - Jul 23, 2013 at 3:44 PM

    The beauty of the settlement is that she gets an expensive house with four (no doubt) luxury cars, because in the end she really loses after she has to pay the huge property taxes, maintenance and upkeep of the house and cars. She’s gonna burn through that 5 mil sooner than you think. Wade definitely gets the last laugh. His income can support that kind of lifestyle but not hers. This isn’t over, she’s nuts and will be sweating him for money soon.

  16. tannethrill - Jul 23, 2013 at 3:47 PM

    reblogged this at

  17. tarr123 - Jul 23, 2013 at 3:58 PM

    The beauty of the settlement is that she gets an expensive house with four (no doubt) luxury cars, because in the end she really loses after she has to pay the huge property taxes, maintenance and upkeep of the house and cars. She’s gonna burn through that 5 mil sooner than you think. Wade definitely gets the last laugh. His income can support that kind of lifestyle but not hers. This isn’t over, she’s nuts and will be sweating him for money soon.

    As long as she sells the large house in Miami and two of those cars she’ll be okay .

  18. norcalkingsfan - Jul 23, 2013 at 4:01 PM

    Maybe you shouldn’t have brought herpes home to your wife Dwayne.

    • mrwhiteshadez - Jul 23, 2013 at 4:11 PM

      Maybe you should stfu before i beat your a$$ you piece of sh|t

      • norcalkingsfan - Jul 23, 2013 at 4:29 PM

        who let the ghetto in?

      • bougin89 - Jul 23, 2013 at 5:04 PM

        Watch out for those really tough guys on the internet!

      • chargerdillon - Jul 23, 2013 at 6:20 PM

        Now now don’t go all Trayvon in the chatroom, we see where acting a fool got him

  19. miamatt - Jul 23, 2013 at 4:20 PM

    Man, I sure wish I could marry somebody, get divorced, and never have to work again a day in my life. Even before this settlement, she got more every two months for sitting on her butt than the average working american makes an entire year- and she doesn’t have to spend that money caring for her children!

    Crossing my fingers that I can meet Mrs. Rich, oops, I mean Mrs. Right….

  20. jhuck92 - Jul 23, 2013 at 4:54 PM

    Who can’t live on anything less than $25,000 a month?? Talk about a gold digger…

  21. bellerophon30 - Jul 23, 2013 at 5:23 PM

    Memo to all college stud athletes: If you’re going to get married young, get a pre-nup just in case. Ask D-Wade, he’ll endorse that for sure.

    And anyway, this isn’t over, she’ll burn through the money inside of two years and go back to court. Especially after she sees him sign another big contract next summer. I just feel bad for the kids.

    • 6thsense79 - Jul 23, 2013 at 8:02 PM

      Huh? Dwyane Wade makes $16 million a year from his basketball contract alone and millions more in endorsements. He only had to pay $5 million to his ex. That compared to a number of divorces of celebrities I’ve seen is chump change. There are stories of athletes getting taken to the cleaners in divorce out there but Wade’s is not one of them.

      • bellerophon30 - Jul 23, 2013 at 8:44 PM

        Well we’re talking $5 million in addition to what he’s already paid since 2007, plus all that he’ll have to pay when she goes back on the deal, plus his own legal fees, counseling for his kids……you get the idea. And if you think he makes $16 mil a year from the Heat you’re forgetting a little something called taxes. Even without state tax that adds up.

        Get a pre-nup if you think you’re going to be a rich athlete. It’s the only way to fly.

      • 6thsense79 - Jul 23, 2013 at 10:46 PM

        Wade’s net worth is $70 million. $5 million is only about 7% of his net worth. I’ve seen so many athletes who are way worse off. Chump change.

      • borderline1988 - Jul 24, 2013 at 1:02 AM

        You’re forgetting the mansion and 4 cars (probably worth $4 million minimum).

        Also, she’s getting paid $300k/year for the rest of her (unmarried) 5% that annuity is worth $6 million.

        And I’m sure this case has already cost Wade many millions of dollars.

        All in all, Wade did get off somewhat easily relative to other high-end divorces. But that’s not chump change.

  22. borderline1988 - Jul 24, 2013 at 1:05 AM

    I never understood the concept of alimony…Why exactly is Wade responsible to upkeep her standard of living for the rest of her life?

  23. jzone954 - Jul 24, 2013 at 2:17 PM

    LMAO at canton bounds “word of wisdom”
    and taking the side of Wades ex on this matter…..

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