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Video: “The Kobe That We Used To Know” Gotye parody

May 24, 2012, 5:46 PM EDT

You didn’t have to hog the ball.
You’re triple-teamed so kick it out to either Blake or Sessions.
I know that they don’t shoot so well,
but you’re really not the Kobe that we used to know.

Brilliant. That’s some good Gotye parody.

It’s a viscious circle with Kobe Bryant. It’s not that he doesn’t trust his teammates, it’s just he doesn’t trust them as much as himself. Kobe’s defining characteristic — which cuts both ways — is an unshakable belief in himself, in part because of the work he puts in. So when teammates miss a shot or two, when they don’t fight to get open, Kobe willingly takes on more of the offense himself. Which causes his teammates to say “why bother, he won’t pass,” so he takes on more and more. It spirals. He sees the points, he doesn’t question the efficency. He doesn’t see his contested jumper as a bad shot (even if it would drive him crazy if others took it).

And where you end up is Kobe being frustrated Metta World Peace didn’t try a dangerous cross-court lob entry pass over Serge Ibaka and rather chose to pass it to the wide open Steve Blake. In the end, both of those plays would have had the same success rate.

Hat tip to Ball Don’t Lie.

  1. shockexchange - May 24, 2012 at 6:13 PM

    INTERPRETATION: Robert Horry, Jr. is a chuck son! “You really aren’t Horry hat we uuuuused to knowww. The Horry we used to know didn’t get bounced in the 2nd round of the playoffs.”

  2. angulocarlos1 - May 24, 2012 at 6:15 PM

    Haha @ Kobe

  3. bozosforall - May 24, 2012 at 7:20 PM

    Beats that lame “Call Me Gaydy” parody that was floating around the Internet a week ago.

  4. uscthom78 - May 24, 2012 at 9:04 PM

    No…he really doesn’t trust his teammates.

    • deadeyedesign23 - May 25, 2012 at 9:24 AM

      If I were him I wouldn’t trust them either.

  5. 1historian - May 24, 2012 at 10:07 PM

    Category #1 – Those who can – do.

    Category #2 – Those who can’t (but maybe wish they could) stand on the sidelines and write stupid columns which they pray people will read, others make nasty remarks from the safety of cyberspace, others write stupid parodies about those in category #1, and others – I don’t really know what they do, nor do I care.

    Meanwhile – those who can do, and they ignore those in #2.

    It rhymes


    • Justin - May 24, 2012 at 11:01 PM

      Please name all “Those who can” win a basketball game all by themselves. None exist.

  6. wfon1 - May 25, 2012 at 2:58 AM

    only clicked on this article cuz i need my laker news. didnt bother watching the video since i know that kobe isnt the problem. we need shooters and we dont have any! kobe has to take control cuz no one else does the job! cant argue with that!

  7. progress2011 - May 25, 2012 at 3:37 AM

    HILARIOUS (kinda corny) video…..

    Curly Neal was a legendary B-Ball, trick shot shooter & dribbler for the Harlem Globetrotters.

    kobe’s game more closely resembles that of Curly Neal, than that of a legendary ” FUNDAMENTAL” basketball player, such as Magic, Bird, Isiah Thomas, etc. etc. etc.

    The difference is- to this day, fans and experts alike still respect the “FUNDAMENTALS” Bird, Dr.J and others brought to the game. No one would ever disrespect them by making such a video.

    Notice- I did not mention Jordan because, he is in a league of his own.

  8. davidly - May 25, 2012 at 6:02 AM

    In fairness, the second verse should have included his fourth and fifth championships.

  9. loungefly74 - May 25, 2012 at 8:46 AM

    didn’t watch the video…

    as a Laker/Kobe fan…you live and die by him….hmmm…7 Finals in the past 12 years?…I’ll take that.

    sorry…but i don’t blame him for not trusting blake.

    • southbeachtalent - May 25, 2012 at 4:25 PM

      Can’t argue with that.

  10. infectorman - May 25, 2012 at 3:40 PM

    To the tune of Aerosmith’s “Same old Story, Same old Song and Dance”

    God ya such a hungo!
    learn how t’ pass
    30 shots a game,
    Boy, it ain’t gonna last

    15 years and runnin’
    Career’s nearin’ the end
    & according to Shaquille
    damn! ya ain’t got no friends!

    its the same old Kobe
    Same old Lame LA!!!!!!
    my friend X 2

    out in colorado!
    ya forced her to bed
    Now, ya wifey doesn’t trust ya,
    ya played with her head
    the maid said ya did it
    and ya-said it’s ain’t true
    blew apart your team
    now, what can ya do?

    its the same old Kobe
    same old Lame LA!!!…my friend
    same old Kobe same old Lame LA! my friend

    guitar solo…

    Age starts a knockin’
    injuries are flockin’
    ya first step is now 2
    can’t get outta round 2
    inner-basketball reflection
    change your direction
    ain’t gonna change it
    can’t re-arrange it
    God! you are so lame
    and its all… so plain… in viiieeeewwwwww!!!, my friend

    Chorus x 2
    fade out…

    Coming to YouTube…soon…

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