Skip to content

Kings claim Travis Outlaw off the amnesty wire: a story in 15 sentences.

Dec 17, 2011, 11:12 PM EDT

New Jersey Nets forward Outlaw celebrates after scoring against the Toronto Raptors during triple overtime in their NBA game in London Reuters

The following is a sentence-by-sentence explanation of a basketball transaction. Please forgive the one-line paragraphs in pursuit of novelty.

The Kings today grabbed Travis Outlaw off the amnesty wire.

Outlaw was not very good for the Nets last year, that’s why they used the amnesty clause on him.

In fact, he was so bad he had an 8.8 PER last year, which is nearly half the average for any player.

So why did the Kings acquire him, then?

Because it was cheap, and they had a hole at backup small forward, and it worked out that way.

As part of the amnesty process, the Kings simply had to bid when no one else did, or at least bid more than any other team, and take on a small portion of his remaining salary.

This is what many people call “bargain shopping.”

It’s very similar to the way my wife will come home with something that was once pristine but now has a gaping hole in it, a massive scratch, or a large dent, and then say “Look at the deal I got!”

Thing is, though, one of those objects still exists as my entertainment center.

TV hasn’t fallen yet, knock on wood.

Not that wood, because it’ll splinter and my TV will fall and I’ll have to punch you, but still, you get my point.

This is the holiday season, a time for forgiving, so maybe the is a chance for Outlaw to get a second chance.

After all, he was pretty good in Portland for a while.

Maybe it’s a time zone thing.

In conclusion, Iman Shumpert.

  1. trbowman - Dec 18, 2011 at 2:59 AM

    #StarkvilleSwag

  2. 1historian - Dec 18, 2011 at 9:05 AM

    You mean that people actually get PAID for posting bilge like this?

    Where do I sign up?!?

  3. ignitionnight - Dec 19, 2011 at 11:18 AM

    Seems like some basketball gms watched the movie Moneyball.

Leave Comment

You must be logged in to leave a comment. Not a member? Register now!

Featured video

Warriors vs. Clippers playoff preview
Top 10 NBA Player Searches
  1. L. James (3490)
  2. D. Wade (3472)
  3. S. Curry (3306)
  4. C. Anthony (3137)
  5. A. Bogut (3073)
  1. K. Durant (3009)
  2. R. Westbrook (2798)
  3. D. Williams (2787)
  4. D. Rose (2692)
  5. K. Love (2571)