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For all your obscure NBA trivia wall hanging needs, the Nick Gilbert fathead

Jul 16, 2011, 11:00 AM EDT

Dan Gilbert

This is weird.

I’m sorry, it is. It’s just really odd to see the 14-year-old son of an NBA owner who was considered to be the good luck charm for the Cleveland Cavaliers in the 2011 NBA Lottery as a FatHead. It’s just peculiar. But there it is. Right there. On the screen



All the proceeds go to the Children’s Tumor Foundation, which is really nice. And it’s awesome that the 14-year-old has become such a basketball culture figure to warrant his own fathead. But still. Weird. Kind of creepy. Borderline creepy, really. Imagine putting that in your rec room before the fellas come over to hang out.

“Hey, Jim.”

“Hey, Bob.”

“I love what you’ve done with the place. Is that couch suede?”

“Poly-suede. Twice the material, none of the drawbacks! Beer?”

“Absolutely! Wow, this place is great. You’ve even got the “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls” pinball machine!”

“Took me a long time to find it, but it was worth the wait.”

“This place is great, I just can’t belie…oh.”


“Nothing. It’s nothing.”

“No, what?”

“Uh, is that Nick Gilbert?”

“Yeah, I’m a big Kyrie Irving fan.”

“So why not get the Kyrie Irving fathead?”

“Because this is awesome! He’s why the Cavs won the lottery!”

“Really? Not the fact that the Clippers, despite having been gifted Blake Griffin, will always find themselves running into the figurative NBA door on account of their being run by what some say is the worst human being on the planet?”

“Nope, all Nick!”

“…. You realize you have a 14-year-old boy hanging on your wall. Typically the only people who say that are (redacted on account of posthumous popularity) and Eli Roth.”

“Hey, if you don’t like it, you can get out. There’s the door. You’ll know it by the exit sign in Comic Sans.”

(HT: Deadspin via

  1. icu84bs - Jul 16, 2011 at 2:15 PM

    Love the kid, (kind of like my own, even 😉 but Dan Gilbert’s ego is already the size of Ohio and still growing rapidly. I am not sure there was enough room in a medium sized state for two blowhards when LBJ was still there. Cheers.

  2. edmazeing1 - Jul 16, 2011 at 5:10 PM

    Haha funny, but so true!!!

  3. savocabol1 - Jul 16, 2011 at 7:54 PM

    Jealous much Matt?

    Dan Gilbert owns Fathead by the way.

  4. sguy2130 - Jul 16, 2011 at 11:38 PM

    It might be creepy if it is the ONLY thing on the wall…but odds are if someone buys this it will be next to a Kyrie Irving fathead or a Cavs fathead logo. It also would work in a young kid’s room (which, by looking at the picture posted, there is a bunk bed, which suggestively indicates a kid’s room).

    Matt, this is alot less creepy than your stash of women’s clothes that you only wear for “special occasions”.

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