Sep 2, 2010, 8:06 PM EST
Meet Jonathan Lee Riches. He’s a bit of a legend (in the urban sense) of the legal and penal systems.
His claim to fame is not the simple wire fraud that has him behind bars. See, what Riches likes to do is file lawsuits from his prison cell. Handwritten screeds that are filled with courts and go after damages from the famous. Really, you aren’t famous until Riches has sued you. Among those who have had to have a lawyer look at this are are George Bush, Martha Stewart, Steve Jobs, Michael Vick, even Somali pirates (who may need to be subpoenaed to appear).
Well, welcome to the club Dwyane Wade, Carmelo Anthony, Mark Cuban and Jerry Buss. The Dallas Observer read through the lawsuit and gave us some of the choice bits (all via Deadspin).
Carmelo Anthony told me he is going to kill me … I was his former boyfriend and we were in a sexual relationship in 2000 (Anthony was going to go after Riches because of the tell all book Riches is writing … honestly I might read that book).
Mark Cuban stole my credit cards and tried to buy the Texas Rangers with my money. Mark Cuban assaulted me serving ice cream at Dairy Queen.
Jerry Buss sold me Jeannie Buss on eBay and I was promised a Lakers janitor job when I get out of prison for less than minimum wage.
Obviously, these are all not true. I know you just said “duh” but there are people who buy the Globe in the checkout line at the grocery store and believe its every word like we’re in Men in Black. So I felt I had to put in the disclaimer.
And although it has nothing to do with basketball, this is my favorite one from the suit.
Nolan Ryan threw 100 mph fastballs at my head and he and Robin Ventura beat me up at the Church of Jesus Christ.
- The Extra Pass: Five quick ways to improve the league; plus Monday’s Recaps 1
- Monday night NBA Grades: DeMarcus Cousins was in beast mode 0
- PBT Extra: Kobe Bryant is back, doesn’t have much time to get it right 4
- It’s official, Clippers agree to terms with Stephen Jackson 4
- PBT NBA Power Rankings: At the quarter pole Portland takes the lead 18
- LeBron says Wade is “getting that Kobe deal” in next contract. Should he? (65)
- Dwight Howard frustrated with Rockets’ effort in recent losses (52)
- Kobe Bryant dunks, looks good in Lakers practice; Friday return possible (47)
- The Extra Pass: Our awards at the quarter pole, plus Monday recaps (43)
- Durant tells “60 Minutes Sports” he’s still tired of being No. 2 (35)