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The most predictable game, ever

Mar 20, 2010, 2:00 PM EST

We all knew the Lakers were going to slaughter the Wolves last night. You, me, your cousin Vinny, your mailman, the stoner who changes your oil at Jiffy Lube, your third grade science teacher, and this guy.

What’s funny is that reading ye old blogosphere this morning is how resoundingly according to form the game was. Enthusiastic, informed writers? Beaten into simply saying “It was exactly what you’d expect.” Basically, last night was a Jennifer Aniston romantic comedy. You know exactly what you’re going to get. You may be happy (“Yay, Lakers win!”) or sad (“Boo, the Timberwolves lost AND are a complete joke whose best player refuses to cross the Atlantic for them!”), but you knew what was going to happen, and then it happened.

Here’s some choice examples of what I’m talking about.

“As for other events on the court tonight, it was all more or less as
expected. The Wolves are atrocious. The Lakers don’t need to exert
themselves to beat Minnesota, and sure enough they didn’t. They built an
11-point lead in the first quarter, lost it by the middle of the third,
quickly recovered with a 12-0 run and cruised from there. A forgettable
night at the office. Don’t forget to clock out when you’re done.”- Silver Screen and Roll

“Now, back to the recap.The Lakers won.  The end. Oh, you want more than that?  Well then, the Lakers played the type
of game we’ve come to expect from them when they play a team like
Minnesota.  When the Lakers don’t feel threatened in a game or feel like
they can’t really lose to a team, they let their guard down.  They let
lesser opponents hang around and stay within striking distance, because
in the end their talent will win out.  And that is exactly what happened
tonight.” -Forum Blue and Gold

“There isn’t much to say about rotations, coaching, and effort against
the Lakers.  They are a bigger, stronger, and more
talented team.” – Canis Hoopus

Well, then. You know how late in the season we are? It’s not even worth the effort to point out that the Lakers let a bad team hang around. Because, really, that’s nothing new. The only important news to come out of the game was what we told you last night about Andrew Bynum’s achilles strain. We’ll keep you updated on his test results the minute they become available.

Ricky Rubio did not play for Minnesota.

  1. John - Mar 20, 2010 at 9:02 PM

    I’m not a wolves fan but wasn’t that game an 8 point win for the Lakers? Against one of the worst teams in the league, I’d hardly consider that a “slaughter” of the wolves. Maybe you had this pre-written and didn’t want to waste your great column even though it was a 8 point game, but this seems kind of stupid if you ask me. Sure Minnesota is bad if anything you should be bashing the lakers for winning by single digits.

  2. Clayton Bigsby - Mar 21, 2010 at 10:28 AM

    The most predictable game ever?! I believe the D-Roseless Bulls would disagree with that assessment.

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