Feb 26, 2010, 1:58 PM EDT
Pig Miller played pretty much his entire career with a toothpick in his mouth, but suddenly Caron Butler’s straw chewing is a safety issue so big that the NBA league office needs to weigh in. Sure it is.
“I mean I am a little bitter about it. I have been doing it for eight years ever since I have been in the NBA but rules is rules and it is what it is so I am going to go back to my Mountain Dew.”
Rome then asked everyone’s first question: Why were you chewing straws in the first place? You know they invented gum, right?
“I mean I just always used to chew stuff because, one, it was traditional and another thing it just had me at ease out there. It was something that I did. A lot of people chew gum when they are playing basketball. I just always chewed my straws.”
No word yet on what his replacement chew toy will be.
The whole thing is silly — Butler has always chewed straws in the NBA. Why notice and crack down now? Clearly, the spies that David Stern has following Mark Cuban around looking for infractions were having a slow day and turned their eyes to Butler and his outlaw straws.
Hey, Stern: You may like the NFL’s economic model, but the fans don’t like the No Fun League part of it. Don’t be bringing that to the NBA.
- Mark Cuban rips officials, NBA: ‘It’s criminal’ how Monta Ellis doesn’t get calls 20
- Shaquille O’Neal says he regrets leaving Magic for Lakers 38
- Cavaliers coach David Blatt: ‘LeBron James is our MVP’ 20
- No Durant, what does that mean for Thunder in these playoffs? Trouble. 15
- Kevin Durant to have third foot surgery; is done for season, playoffs 39
- Goran Dragic leading feisty Heat’s playoff push 29
- NBA Draft prospect matchups to watch in NCAA Tourament this weekend 2
- Report: LeBron James frustrated with Kevin Love for not fitting in 85